Story of You and Me - Part 2

Story of You and Me - Part 2 

 

In part 1 you read till Childhood of Maansi, real story continues further.......

The Shock Wave:

Maansi as a girl was too ambitious to be put in social chains, she always wanted to fly high and make a mark. But " Being an Indian Girl Born in a Typical Middle Class Family in UP"  after completing her PGDCA while she was just 23 years old she was married in August 1993 to a Meerut based army officer in CISF, a government employee.

Just after one month of her marriage, her father in law was no more and this added responsibility of the complete family on her husband's  shoulders, the only earning member of the family comprising of her mother in law and uncle in law.

The In laws were a very traditional and orthodox family . Her husband while leaving for his job posting where he was posted in CISF asked his mother to take Maansi along with him. The dominating Mother in law who was barely in her 50s, said in reply I have married my son,  now why should I cook, who will take care of us if Maansi goes with you? She was also not ready to leave her Meerut home and shift with the son who was on postings on and off across India.  Her Husband - 'The Mumma's Boy ' did not take any stand for his wife as he left for his posting leaving the newly married Maansi behind in Meerut as his mother wanted.

Maansi being the only daughter in law of the family was made to stay with her in laws family in Meerut House Number 286, as if she was married to House Number 286 and not to a Man.

            As if marriage was her license for life-long slavery of her In laws, for serving the In-laws, cooking garam chapptis for them basically 2 members mother in law and uncle in law who could not take care of them as their son was now married,as per them 'Bahu is a servant figure', it's her duty to cook, clean and hear to all the no sense non sense, ill accuses and tantrums from her husband's family members and be there where they live to serve them.

Maansi's Parents:

A newly married highly educated post graduate bride with the aims and ambitions of flying high was now a cook, a cleaner and a house maid living without her husband for whom she left her parents, her home and came to new city and a new house.

Nonetheless she accepted this also and was silently living with her in laws happily performing her so called duties to the best of her ability.

But as if this was not enough, one or the other time Maansi's father was called to Meerut from Modinagar and was complained for his daughter by her In laws,

            "Your daughter does not do this, she does not cook well, she does not make round paranthas,  she takes her own decisions, aapne apni beti ko diya hi kiya hai ,you didnot give us TV.........." 

But the ShravanKumar Husband would utter no word and her father was insulted in every possible way.  One fine evening after all this dramas when it was 11.30 pm in night, her father could find no transport to reach Modinagar and had to walk all way from Meerut to Modinagar in freezing cold but In laws did not have the courtesy to ask him to stay home or even drop him to his home, this was shocking for Maansi  and she was broken.

But as it goes here, Girls parents cannot say anything, if they speak it's a clear breakage of marital ties for their daughter as in this case The Boy - The Husband is not taking any stand for her wife and protecting the respect of her wife and In laws family. Teaching is such that if he speaks anything he is not a good son, it is disrespect for his parents and it is indecent to speak in between elders, how cruel and unjustified may be the behaviour, such is the upbringing and thought process. Legal Laws look good in law books and Court decisions are good to be made but cannot be implemented in practical life in society, if anybody tries to do, it is clear indication ' Marriage is going to be broken' - an unending suffering for the lady.

 Maansi still adjusted with her In laws to protect her marriage and was living in Meerut House Number 286.

Alone Struggle Begins:

Within a year of marriage she was blessed by a baby boy Chinmay and was enjoying the pleasure of motherhood. One fine day a postman came with an interview letter for the faculty position of subject Management Information Systems from  IPM Management Institute  where she had applied long back. After taking due permission from her In- Laws, she went for the interview and was selected. It was an urgent opening and they wanted her to join the institute the very next day. She was  not mentally prepared with a little infant in her lap how to join the job and take care of the baby but still took bold decision to join the job in 1994.  

There was No Support from In Laws, only expectations of Duties of a Bahu, no Responsibilities of a Dadi ( Grandmother).

"When Chinmay was small, I used to carry him to the management institute. It was the director of my institute , Mr. Vikas Verma who supported me in my tough time . When I used to work for late hours in the institute, he used to look after my elder son Chinmay, holding him in his lap."             - quotes Maansi as she struggles with her life.

            She joined there as computer faculty for about 3 years and simultaneously also complete her MBA from the same institute where she was teaching.  Her husband was supportive of her studies and working  as independent woman but no support in family chaos expect being the Bread Earner.

Now Chinmay, her son grew 3 years old and she got him admitted to a school.  The real challenge came now, as it was quite difficult to leave the 3 years old child for the whole day at home where no one was ready to look after him, finding no support at home and by family. One fine day she took another  bold decision to leave her high paying job at Management Institute.

              It affected her family financial condition and within a span of 3 months, she had to look out for a job again to support the expenses of the family. Then she thought to join a school so that could take care of Chinmay's studies. She applied as a computer faculty in a school and everyone including the School Principal was surprised at her decision to switch over from a Management School to a Primary school teacher where the perks where just 1/5 of the management institute. Salary downfall was from Rs. 15000 to just Rs. 3500.

                                  She joined the school and later brought Chinmay to the same school and now life was little comfortable. After a period of 6 yrs she was again blessed with her second son Uday.

            "After 2 months of Maternity Leave, I left for school for the first day after leave leaving my little son Uday at home. In the evening when I returned I was taunted by my mother in law saying " Take your son with you we will not clean his poti ...." 

She ignored it thinking it was just a light joke but the very fine morning next day when Maansi was leaving for the school, her mother in law shouted " Suna nahi tha kiya, apna bacha saath le jana hum nahi rakhenge"  ( Take your son with you I told you yesterday, we would not take care of your son)

                        As there was no support from the family she started taking both her sons to school. She would leave the younger one Uday at home of her colleague in school campus where his wife would look after the little kid ' Uday'.

It was a crucial time but no support from In laws and Husband, only unending demands. Finances in the home were not so great so she had to continue earning taking care of home, school and two little kids all by herself. Alas! Life does not come with roses around and new challenge came for her when she came to know that the school campus where she was working is being demolished and all staff members have to leave the campus within  a month.

Wife's Angle:

 As usual role was husband was just a bread earner who would visit as Guest twice a year on holidays and go back least concerned about taking her and his sons with him.  The children would miss their father, wanted to spend time with him but had no choice. It was a punishment for children to be away from father and be in Meerut. They also wanted to go for an evening walk, picnic, spend time with their father. Eventually both sons grew up and learnt to live without him, having little affection or connection with father.

"It was heart filling when I see husband wife and kids of my colony going for a evening walk. I simply keep myself busy in evenings taking tuitions and supporting family. Buying milk and grocery for family makes my evening walk. "  - says Maansi with tears in her eyes.

Time passes by, with both kids growing it was time to teach both children. More financial burden was added so Maansi started taking tuition classes in the evening along with her regular day job to support family's increasing expenses.

Tough Learning Saviour:

Maansi is a tough woman who made her mark in spite of thorny bushes all around.  She completed her M.Sc in Mathematics and B.Ed while working in School and  was promoted  to secondary class mathematics teacher. She is now Mathematics teacher working with a reputed CBSE school Dayawati Modi Academy past 19 years. Though being a teacher was not her passion, but she is content and happy being in this profession now.  She explores her creative style and converts adversity into an opportunity.

The Next Flight:

With her dedicated efforts Chinmay, her elder soon was selected as a cadet of National Defence Academy in 2012. After sending him for training she was quite free to fly high so Maansi thought to take a flight again, explore her life and learn something.

She started writing for Google Content Writing online and got exposure in various fields.

Gradually she thought of writing some books and now Maansi is a writer too, she write and composes various mathematics books for different publications.

'Life goes on, I want to fly high........ ' she smiles as she progresses for her next flight.

Message from Maansi to Each One of You:

·         I believe in growth and fulfilling of dreams.

·         I always think success is not a destination, it is a continuous journey.

·         I always wish to get new success and enjoy its pleasure......

Let's Think About few Questions Below and Look out Together for a Solution.  
Questions to Ponder ?

1. Is Marriage for Woman, a Bonded Labour where she is slave to In Laws? Taking care of elders is justified but how can you justify bringing a daughter in law just to earn money for you, cook and clean and even separate her from her husband spoiling her married life?   #Duties expected from a Daughter In Law
2.  I have married my son,  now why should I cook ? Is this part of brutual societal thinking we are living in? A country where women, Grehlaxmi was worshiped, is now being cursed? Where are we heading to?  Do you become old (Mother in Law) as soon as your son gets married?  #Expectation Mismatch Mother In Laws.
3.  "Your daughter does not do this, she does not cook well, she does not make round paranthas.......  "   Is Girls father an object of mockery and humiliation ? What if same thing happen to Boys father someday with Girls family complaining the same way? Are we Humans even with such mentality.  #Cribing & Complains of Bahu.
4.   " Suna nahi tha kiya, apna bacha saath le jana hum nahi rakhenge"  You want money from a money munching machine called Daughter In Law but could not take care of your Ghar ka Chirag - your own Grandsons ? Then how can you think they will take care of you ? Is Win Win give away, isn't it Mother In Law?  #Role of Grand Parents. #Money Matters
5.  'Life goes on, I want to fly high........ ' How many of us - women in same soup think positively. Yes It's not easy but it's not Hard too. Share your inputs and your story when you passed the Test of Life successfully as Maansi.  #Success #Will Power of Woman
6.  Do You relate with the story or has seen atmosphere and behaviour of such nature? If yes, let's be part of a Change Movement to Change the Mindset which has been set due to Slave Mentality was suffered with Britishers.  #Change Maker

Story of You and Me - Part 1

                      The Story of a Power Woman - Women In You and Me. (Part 1) 
 

First Feature Story of Shakti Woman published in Navratras marking the Glory of Woman - The Shakti.

 

This is the story of You and Me, every household woman in India who leaves her father's home with dreams and ambitions of a loving family of her husband who would treat her as a queen, bestow their love and affection on her and accept wholeheartedly as a member of family. 

Here the Story Begins:  This little girl was born as the eldest child to a business man father and a loving mother in a place called Modi Nagar in Ghaziabad district of central UP.  Birth of this girl Maansi  (the central character of this story) was not a happy moment for her grandmother, who was an orthodox woman who had the desire of only a male child for the family.  Her grandmother grew even more furious when her mother gave birth to two more girls in short span of just 4 years. It was only after her brother as born as the fourth child in the family that a grand celebration was organised in the city saying 'A Boy has been born now in the family'.

             Since the beginning the tough times started for Maansi as she was a girl, who was born in a lower middle class family of central Uttar Pradesh, a state known for its lowest male female child ratio in traditional India, where the birth of a girl child is not welcomed and is unwanted. When she grew up to 4 years, her grandmother rejected the idea of sending her to schools, as she felt girls have nothing to do with going to school, they need to be at home and do household work only.

Her mother who was herself a highly educated woman who served as a teacher in government school, did not like the idea of her In Laws. So she she raised her voice for the education of her daughter  against the traditional preset mentality of her In Laws. With her mother's constant support and affectionate efforts Maansi was admitted to Dayawati Modi Public School, the best English medium school of the city . Her mother was adamant that her girls would not go to UP Board Hindi medium schools. It was due to her Strong Avataar, Maansi could get the best education available in the town.

 A brilliant and studious girl Maansi was an all rounder and quick at learning. Seeing her potential when she was in class 8, her father taught her how to ride a scooter and told her " You are the eldest child in the family and you are my support , now you need to take care of day to day needs of your younger brother and two sisters. She was groomed as an independent girl who was always taught to say and seek justice. 

She was brought up in a open atmosphere where her both parents mother and father, taught her to

" Speak up against any wrong things and also not do anything wrong" -

                                                            In her words " Na Galat Karo - Na Galat Saho. "

She completed her schooling and wanted to become an engineer, here again the gender bias played a spoiling sport in her life when  her grandmother did not allow her to appear for her engineering exams  :( ,so she completed her graduation PGDCA from SJM Polytechnic - Seth Jai Prakash Mukundlal Polytechnic College in Ghaziabad. Along with it she also completed BA in English Literature with Economics by correspondence. 
                                                       
                                             Here is the First Part of the Story. More to be continued in Part 2. 

Lets first Think About few Questions Below and Look out Together for a Solution.  

Questions to Ponder ?

1. Is Birth of a Boy Child a necessity in India, to make GrandParents Happy ? Celebrations Only when a Boy is born?  Think ! Is this our Society, leaving apart a handful of people who celebrate girl child birth, aren't most Indians doing the same. 

2.  "Tough Times Started for Maansi ? Why ? Coming to Life, being born as Human is the most blessed thing to happen after 84 Lakh Yonis as per vedic scriptures, Then why a Girl Child has to struggle to live on earth since the day of birth? 

3.  'Sending Girls to School Spoils them, they need to learn Kitchen work to cook food for the In Laws? Is this what our Vedas preach us, in the land of Swamvaras where - 'The woman used to decide whom she marries and spends her life with. Today due to ignorance of Bharat's Rich Culture and Heritage, the glorious past is lost? How to restore this is the next question.   

4. Role of Mother to raise her Daughters and of Father to inculcate Confidence and Faith in them as was done by Maansi's parents? Can this be a Learning Story of all Parents who are in the same soup, at the hands of Society !!!  

Share Your Thoughts, Share the Story of The Shakti Woman................ Lets together Bring a Change in the Mindset - which has got created in past 1000 years of slavery that India suffered at the hands of barbaric nomads, mughals, turks , britishers who not only destroyed us but also our Culture and Heritage. 

The Women Power Festival - Navratris

With the onset of October - here comes the time for Maa Durga - The Women Power Festival -  The Navratris.

In this age, I wonder do we just need to celebrate the Women Power for these 9 Days and treat them badly, ruin them for the rest of the year.  We are the land of Sages, Rishis, Munis, Ultra Powerful Human Beings - BHARAT, where Women - Naari is workshiped in various forms as:

1. Annapurna - In the form of Food we eat.
2. Greh Laxmi - In the form of Woman of Home as Bahu, Beti.
3. Durga, Kali, Power Goddess - In the form of Evil Destroyer to protect the family and the Nation.
4. Kamakshi Devi - In the form of Menstruating Devi, an important biological cycle to give birth to new baby. 
5. Saraswati - In the form of Knowledge, Learning, Education we take.


and many more forms..........
Lets look at the Cycle of Life of this Woman :
Naari - the one who goes through the painful Rebirth Process during the Child Birth, The One who carries another Life in her Body and the one who willingly sacrifices her life to be with the New family after marriage leaving her own abode.

    Even after all this, there is need for Women Empowerment, I wonder what Power or Empowerment you can give to Women, who is herself a power. In your Veins as a man or a woman the blood that runs, the body the shines and the senses that work, is all given to you by a WOMAN - The Ultimate Power.

It would be called just a Sad State of our Country - Bharat which has become INDIA, and hence lost its value and heritage and a place where day began with Workship of Woman - Maa, Devi Maa, Tulsi Maa, Annapurna Maa, Saraswati Maa and so on, has become the place of Women Harrassment, Rapes, Injustice, Ill treatment, Abuses, Verbal Thrashing, and What Not.

Think About It - Who were We and What we have Become after long 800 Years of  Dominance, Slavery by foreign rulers from middle east and What they have done to our Mindset, Our Mentality, Our Thinking and Now it has all come into Our Genes.

This Series of Women In You and Me is dedicated to all Woman - Who are struggling Day and Night at the hands of Society in India as their Country Bharat given to them by their Forefathers where women was worshiped is Long Lost.............. And Read On How They are Still Building their Bharat.

My Sincere Salute to all Woman on this Planet.................